Moemon: of paper-thin heroics
by Butterbells of Death
Summary: A reboot of Senseless Tale. Same summary: A realistic(?) take on the moemon genre. Read how a timid on the outside, brash on the inside nerd with a colorful vocabulary embarks on a journey of glory, fate, debauchery, ambiguous orientation and sadomasochism. Read warning, lots of LEMONS that will simultaneously disgust and intrigue you. Not recommended for the faint of heart.
1. Index!

**Hello people of the world, welcome to the world of 'Moemon: of paper-thin heroics'**

**This happens to be a reboot of my old godforsaken-ly bad series 'Moemon: a senseless tale'. This time, I'm gonna do my best to make sure the story plays out much better.**

**This reboot has the same basic theme as before (how a society built on moemon would be like as well as how young adolescent trainers deal with said world)**

**Same warnings as before;**

**Prepare yourself for both really, REALLY kinky lemons, some straight others not. And also prepare yourself for possible death, gore, and/or other mature shit (such as swearing).**

**And my final note, all chapters that have a lemon in them will include an allcaps VIT C on their chapter titles.**

**Anyway, this isn't the first chapter just yet. This 'prologue'-ish chapter shall serve to be the index for all new terminologies or inventions that will come in seceding chapters, therefore greatly cutting down on the amount of exposition that would otherwise prove detrimental to the story.**

**Please note this about the index though, it will be periodically(randomly) updated as I think up of more new things to add to the story, so be sure to check the index should you encounter something new that you don't understand.**

**Anyway, on with chapter 0!**

**xxx**

**[Land of Terminologies and Expositions]**

**(Press CTRL-F to skip to specific points)**

**1. The UMN**

**2. Moemon**

**3. Trainers**

**4. Moedex**

**5. The capsule system and Hammerspace inc.**

**6. Badge Clearance**

**7. The fountain of youth**

**8. Anti-gravity chamber**

**9. Psychic towers**

**10. Draconic energy**

**11. Gordon Baxter**

**12. Tutors and TMs**

**13. Trading moemons**

**14. Decency act**

**15. Therian Omnicore Murderfield**

**16. Kyle Maxwell**

**17. Riley Ignition**

**18. Marigold Lexus Clearway**

**19. Eschaton**

**20. Muscle Emporium**

**21. Legal Jailbait**

**22. Bucks and Digital Wallets**

**1. The UMN**

The UMN stands for the United Moemon Nations, which to the surprise of noone, happens to be where the story takes place. The UMN can basically be summed up as an islands nation, like Japan, or where I (the writer) live, Indonesia. Obviously, the islands belonging to the UMN are modeled after the regions in the world of pokemon (Kanto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova, Orre, etc.). If you had the chance to read the story before it's reboot, you would know this one takes place in Sinnoh.

...Ironically, I realize only in retrospect that I should've went with Hoenn. What with it being a tropical region, and thusly one I would be more familiar with. I've no idea what the hell is this 'snow' thing you speak of afterall. Too little to late I suppose...

Again, if you've read the previous story, you would know that the currency for the UMN are called 'bucks'.

...You may call me out on the completely uncreative naming, but it makes sense in context, kinda. Also the exchange rate in the UMN is roughly 10.000 bucks = 1 dollar, this is really only to make things easier for me though, since the currency where I live is pretty much the same price.

Also, be prepared for the fact that the UMN uses the metric system, so get your length converters ready people! (Again, to my advantage, because of cultural issues).

Also, (you've probably noticed at this point) I am most certainly **NOT**a native english speaker, so even though my english may be good enough to pass as one, I will still make the occasional mistake in grammar and/or use of a word. Apologies in advance.

**2. Moemon**

Honestly though, if you don't know what a moemon is- _Get the fuck outta here-_

J/K

Anyway, moemon are basically pokemon. ...That happen to look half-human. Kinda like a hybrid, but more beast-like.

My version's moemon generally fall into the more 'animalistic' type, but at the same time, they're also several times smarter than normal animals. ...Still much dumber when compared to people though.

To implement the game's whole _'level and evolution' _system, I've managed to make the whole thing work by making it so that moemon have an _'accelerated' _rate of growth that_ 'under certain circumstances'_, can cause _'evolutions'_. I've also made it so that a moemon's adrenaline level will directly mirror it's '_exp points'_. Therefore, a moemon who goes into more fights will grow faster and thusly, _'evolve'_ faster.

And also, I've managed to rationalize the whole idea of '_fucking a moemon to own said moemon'_ by making it so that when a moemon reaches an orgasm, they will kind of '_imprint' _with the person who made them climax in the first place. This only works with humans though, because of...

...

...Nevermind what I was saying.

Also, a side-note of imprinting is that the moemon will now forever devote itself to it's trainer. Note that this does not necessarily mean the moemon will be completely obedient to the trainer though. It just means that the moemon now has a very strong 'bond' with it's trainer. But how the moemon perceives this 'bond' is somewhat random. That's why sometimes a moemon will look up to it's trainer as his/her leader, while other times the moemon will treat his/her trainer as a helpless infant in need of protection. When it's the latter, the moemon has a tendency to be a bit disobedient.

Really all you have to remember is that an imprinted moemon will _never _purposely harm it's trainer.

A mention, the lifespans of moemon vary from species to species. Some mamallians live at a slightly less average than humans (40-50 years), while most bug types live a very short life (10-20 years. Some moemon though, have such a long lifespan that none have never seen one die of natural causes.

**3. Trainers**

Ah, now to the most juicy bit of any OC story. The trainers.

As per the game/manga (anime? what anime?), trainers are split into several types. The usual kind of trainers or _'battlers' _as I would call them, the '_coordinators' _who train moemon as performers, '_breeders_' people who breed moemon (obviously),_ 'researchers' _and etc.

There is a major difference in how you become a trainer in the reboot though.

Now, EVERYBODY IN THE UMN has to go on a mandatory journey to train pokemon. They are not allowed to work or pursue a higher education until they have a minimum of two badges.

So basically, a person is allowed to live life normally until they reach the age of 18. At which point they are sent on an all-government funded journey to train moemon.

The funny thing is, you're allowed to start training any time after puberty (It's _that _kinda society), but you _must _have or is at least _trying _to have at least _**TWO BADGES **_(minimum) by the time you're 18.

So it's not impossible for someone to already have _eight_ badges while they're still 15 years old.

**4. Moedex**

As the name would imply, this is the moemon version of the pokedex. Only difference is that, unlike in the games/manga (I refuse to acknowledge the shitty, _shitty _anime) the people who get moedex's are not only THE CHOSEN ONES. In my story, the thing comes pretty much free with a trainer card.

The moedex still works like a pokedex, an all-purpose encyclopedia on moemon. But here, they can also be used to link to a person's moeball (**Part 5: The Capsule System)** to reveal the information of the moemon inside.

The Moedex system works by first being registered into a trainer, and then sends the data of all the moemon said trainer owns into a huge database. The thing also functions as a clock, a satellite phone, and a flashlight.

PS. You can also custom order your own moedex model, like you would with a smartphone model.

**5. The Capsule System and Hammerspace Inc.**

The Capsule System is a catch-all term to how moeballs(=pokeballs) and hammerspace in general works. Basically shrinks an object and puts said object into another object. Where the former may refer to a moemon, the latter would refer to a moeball.

The Capsule System extends to much more than just moeballs though. Bags, purses, and other items-of-holding in the UMN also make use of the capsule system. In the case of bags though, they usually come with a small control pad to the side for you to type in whatever object you wish to withdraw from it.

Though I earlier said bag, some of the newer models come in the shape of accessories. Like for example, a bracelet that utilizes the capsule system.

PS. The reason people don't use normal bags to store moemon is because Moeballs are fitted with all sorts of safety procedures that bags lack. Hence why a moeball is so inflexible, they have to be if you want the moemon inside to stay alive.

Hammerspace Inc refers to the number one developer of all gadgets that make use of the capsule system. Pretty much all the moeballs in the story are manufactured by them.

PSS. Moemon captured by _legal _moeballs will have nanobots shot into them. These nanobots are capable of sending a shock into the subject moemon via a button on top of the related moeball. Also, these nanobots resonate with when listening to certain frequencies (**12. Tutors and TMs**) and will then proceed to imprint data into the subject moemon's body.

**6. Badge Clearance**

Badge clearance refers to the things you're cleared to do after you've had a sufficient number of badges. This usually refers to things like particularly dangerous areas where you need at least four badges to enter, or other things such as a particularly strong species of moemon you need at least five badges to own (usually dragon-types).

**7. The Fountain of Youth**

As I've offhandedly mentioned in the past series, people of the UMN have found the secret to eternal youth in the form of a drug. All thanks to the cells provided by a certain species of moemon called 'ditto'.

Keep in mind though, the eternal youth spoke of in the story is far from perfect. They basically work by stunting your growth and makes your body unable to run certain processes, thus making sure your body stay at a constant form. If it needs obvious mentioning, having certain bodily functions stopped is _not _a good thing. As well the fact that people will develop a dependency on the drug after enough time.

A combination of biologically produced cyborg-nanobots that are shot into your bloodstream manages to fix some of the drug's worse side-effects, but they make it so that you'll now be dependent on both the drug AND the nanobots to stay alive.

On the bright side though, the drug is capable of staving off atrophy and any kind of body decay, making sure your body stays in tip-top shape for an indefinitely long time.

Unfortunately, another of the drug's side-effects is that is slowly eats at your immune system. Effectively giving you AIDS... But on the bright side, you'll probable be 150 years old by the time the drug does that much damage. The oldest recorded person using the drugs is currently 178 years old... and he doesn't look a day over 25.

Due to the drug's extremely beneficial effects as well as how surprisingly easy it is to produce, pretty much everyone in the UMN over thirty is already taking the drug.

The drug itself is called_ 'The Fountain of Youth',_but the company that produces them is called '_Heavenly'_. Which happens to be the number one company in the industry of life extension... and second best when it comes to body modification. (It's _that _kinda society afterall)

**8. Anti-Gravity chamber**

The name itself is pretty self-explanatory, a chamber which is filled with the antithesis of gravity. Since, this is on the subject of antimatter, it's suffice to say that anti-gravity chambers are some pretty volatile stuff. But dangerous though it may be, it also happens to be the primary component in anti-gravity vehicles.

The existence of anti-gravity was a big question mark in physics for a long time, but once the UMN figured it out, they were pretty easy to mass produce. Unfortunately, due to their volatile and dangerous nature, the public is only allowed only limited use of the stuff, mostly in the form of hoverboards, anti-gravity bikes, or other low flying, personal vehicles. So no flying car for you.

**9. Psychic Towers**

Those of you who played the first generation of pokemon are all probably aware of how dangerous psychics are. And it is because of that very reason moemon with psychic abilities in the UMN are _very, carefully regulated_. Giant towers in every city are used to disrupt with a moemon's teleportation and mind-manipulating capabilities. They're still capable of using those powers, but not in cities. They're usually limited to just simple telekinesis inside urban areas.

It's recommended for every trainer to be carrying at least one moemon who is in the dark, psychic, or ghost classification type. Because criminals have a tendency to use psychic types for their utility.

**10. Draconic Energy**

Draconic energy is... the energy that are produced by dragons. Obviously, pretty much everyone knows that just by reading the title.

But what is unique to me series is that draconic energies have nuclear characteristics. Which basically means dragon moemon are walking nuclear reactors. And another reason why they're another type of moemon closely regulated by the government, and why they have a pretty high badge clearance level.

**11. Gordon Baxter**

The man that began it all. Also known as, the founder of the UMN.

Our good Doctor Baxter here was of American birthright who stumbled upon the uninhabited islands of the UMN during a top secret expedition. Gordon is a man of many talents, as well as a master in many sciences, but his most dominating quality is his deviant ideal of a 'perfect' society.

This is afterall, the man who succeeded where the city of _Rapture _failed.

Rumors say that he's still alive, three whole centuries and a half after his founding of the UMN- which happened where he was already in his fifties, before _eternal youth_ had even been founded yet. Though knowing someone of his accomplishments, it wouldn't be unlikely for that rumor to actually be true.

...Another well known fact about Gordon is how god-awful he is with names. Just look at the UMN and it's currency, or take a gander at his son's name, Dexter Baxter.

Physique: Uknown

Mangrit: A complete mystery, but speculated to be quite impressive.

**12. Tutors and TMs**

When I say tutor, I'm not referring to the academic type. I'm referring to the type you see in the games- namely, move tutors.

Training moemon isn't exactly the easiest thing to do in the world. It's also made even harder when you realize the implication that you have to train moemon to do things _you can't even do yourself_. Like for example,

Most water-types are capable of controlling the temperature and moisture level in the air. But some water-types _won't know how to do so instinctively_, and that's why you need to teach them to do so. Though it's not impossible to actually succeed in teaching your moemon a new trick like that, it's _very extremely hard_.

That's where tutors come in. Tutors are people who have figured out how to teach tricks or maneouvers to a moemon that don't naturally learn them. You can hire them for money to teach your moemon said tricks, or you can go online and buy a TM (Technical Machine), which is a digitalized compression of the trick the tutor can teach your moemon.

Every TM in the UMN has copyright protection to different tutors. So should a trainer come up with a new move for their moemon to learn, they can copyright that move and earn a killing.

TMs are usually in the form of discs to be played on a special disk-player available at most trainer stores. (Refer to part **5. The Capsule System and Hammerspace** to understand the process)

**13. Trading moemon**

Trading? What's that? Such an activity is completely unprecedented in the realm of fanfiction!

...Kind of. Despite being one of the game's most prominent features, it's nearly non-existent in people's fanfics. To be fair, it's also non-existent in my fic too! ...So why am I mentioning it again?

Well, the act of trading moemon _used _to be popular a long time ago in the UMN -Before some hapless deviant discovered the usefulness of imprinting.

The act of imprinting kinda makes it so each moemon becomes tied to _only one trainer_. And thus, they would _never _obey a different one. Thus making the trend of moemon trading obsolete.

BTW, old trading devices can still be found in most centers. Even though they're virtually worthless now, maybe someone could find a use for them...

PS. This is a shout-out to most moemon ROMhacks. They usually no longer make 'trading' an evolution requirement. They also usually make it so that every moemon is obtainable in one game, even legendaries!

Example: Moemon eternal V3. You guys should go check it out! It's a moemon ROMHACK of Emerald.

**14. Decency act**

I already mentioned this one prior to the reboot... But I'll mention it again anyway.

"All moemon released in public areas must wear sufficient articles of clothing."

By sufficient, the guy means no genitals and no breasts in public. This is followed pretty loosely by most trainers. I mean, one guy used to have his Blaziken walk around in public wearing nothing but three bandages, and he got away with it.

**15. Therian Omnicore Murderfield**

Young Therian is a 17-year old who is just starting out his moemon journey. He's a small, glasses-clad boy with super short brown hair.

His face is pretty androgynous, and his physique equally so. He actually grows facial and body hair pretty quickly, but he's also something of a clean-freak so he shaves everyday-

-Even when he's out in the wilderness.

He always keeps his hair super short to keep people from mistaking him as a girl. Unfortunately for him, a lot of people still think he's a girl sometimes despite his 'pixie-cut'.

Therian has two fatal weaknesses. The first are his glasses, take them off and he can't see two steps in front of him. The other is his chronically bad social skills, he doesn't work very well when meeting with new people...

Antisocial to the extreme, Therian struggles with pretty much any activity involving another sentient being that's not dead. It's bad enough to the point where he struggles to talk to even deliverymen, and store clerks, even more so against the dreaded telemarketers. Therian's timidity even comes out in his monologues, signified by his constant use of 'unsure' clauses such as maybes, probablies, I thinks, and I guesses.

Therian also seems pretty reluctant to be a trainer. But despite his reluctance, he sure knows a whole lot about them...

Just what is he hiding...?

Physique: Asian face with androgynous features, short brown hair, brown eyes, thick square glasses, feminine build, and pasty skin. 155cm height, 46kg weight

Mangrit: Below average

**16. Kyle Maxwell**

A guy who can turn heads anywhere he goes, he's so unbelievably attractive that any mortal who is even a _little _bit fertile cannot look at him straight without feeling weak around the knees.

-At least, that seems to be what Therian thinks...

But seriously, Kyle is just your a-little-above-average 25 year old with a past that I can't quite reveal yet.

He's a guy who tries to dress like a badboy, but is overall too nice of a person to actually pull it off. Super altruistic, and with a natural inclination towards everything chivalrous, it's no wonder why most people think he's such a catch. He's also known for his cheerful disposition and washboard abs.

His hobbies include traveling, long-walks by the beach, and hearing about your 'problems'. No, _seriously_. He is _naturally _that dreamy.

Kyle Maxwell's fatal weakness is being so nice to the point where it can get downright _dangerous _at times. For both him, and the people around him.

Physique: European diamond-shaped face, caucasian obviously, gray eyes, strawberry blonde hair that's gelled to spike, full lips, cute nose, equally cute butt, and _extremely _well toned. 187cm height, 86kg weight.

Mangrit: So huge it's not funny

**17. Riley Ignition**

Riley Ignition is another one of our main characters. Whimsical and impulsive Riley is a girl who only cares about whatever interests her the most at the moment. Towards everything else, she shows nothing but complete apathy. Despite that though, she is extremely smart and is considered a master in almost every intellectual subject known to man.

Her physical appearance is that of short plump girl. Her breasts are also something worth mentioning about, what with them being large enough to throw her body proportions completely out. Her age is a complete mystery.

But she's completely legal jailbait.

Though she comes off as selfish and lazy, she's actually very caring towards the people she considers her friends- few though they may be.

She also has a weird problem with being drunk. Namely, she always _seems _drunk despite being perfectly sober. The only time she _acts _sober is when she's serious. She's rarely _ever _serious though.

Physique: Round face, purple eye contacts, pale skin, dark blue hair that goes down to her knees, with a build that's quite chubby, but not enough to be considered fat. 140cm height, 50kg weight (it's speculated that most of this comes from her chest...).

Girlybits: Outrageously large

**18. Marigold Lexus Clearway**

A young girl who is not as good a trainer as she would like to say she is. Even though she's still young, she's seen enough of the world of moemon training to become cynical towards the world, other people, and even herself.

But even despite that, she still believes that training moemon is her calling in life. She knows that she makes a poor trainer, and that she will never go much further from where she is already, she can't imagine her life as anything but a trainer.

Her age is often mistaken because of how tall she is- despite only being 16 years old.

Physique: Plain face with universally applicable features, caramel skin, hazel eyes, shoulder-length dark hair with a purple streak, gothic clothes (regardless of weather and/or season!), physically fit, a really tight ass. 178cm height, 61Kg weight

Girlybits: FLAT

**19. Eschaton**

Therian's hoverboard. Basically a floating waveboard. Therian sometimes pretend she can talk to him. And when he's doing so, her voice sounds a lot like Tara Strong (when in english), or Romi Park (when in japanese).

In Therian's mind, she's the super cool Onee-chan type with a stoic exterior but a caring interior.

**20. Muscle Emporium**

A rather dubiously named trainer store. Once upon a time, all training-themed stores were owned and funded by the government, but somewhere down the line, that stopped being a thing. And that was how privately owned trainer stores started being built!

The Muscle Emporium happens to be one of the more well-known ones. This one was unique in that the store focused mostly on supplements for moemon growth and other things that dealt with 'muscles'.

They also had the unique tidbit in that all of their chain stores rent out _nigh-indestructible _rooms at rock bottom prices. This was originally done to avoid people training outdoors and destroying public property. Occasionally, people also rent rooms for the sake of trainer battles.

**21. Legal jailbait**

The age of consent in the UMN is nineteen years of age, but a person is recognized as an adult at the age of seventeen. Such laws are written in the UMN's legal constitution.

But like everything relating to sexual relationships in the UMN, they're treated loosely and are full of loopholes.

For example, ever since the advent of 'the fountain of youth', there have been a surprisingly large influx of 'permanent lolitas' in the UMN. It's speculated that this was originally because certain children thought of the funny notion of 'being a kid forever' and their parents were stupid enough to agree. But regardless of 'why', the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of 20-something year olds with the body of a _freakin' 10-year old_.

...I'm sure a lot of people understand the implication of such things. For those who can't figure it out, I'll give you a hint.

A 30-year old who looks like a preschooler is allowed to get married.

Figure out the problem yet?

A little tidbit though, it's something of an unwritten rule among all the sexual deviants on the street that they should _never _violate _anyone _who actually _is _under the legal age. Such people are considered the lowest of the low, even some of the worst of criminals in the UMN cannot sympathize with such people.

**22. Bucks and Digital Wallets**

The UMN's currency. Gordon Baxter came up with the name, as you can all see...

Anyway, I might've mentioned this earlier, but 1 USD : 10.000 UMB (United Moemon Bucks). An interesting thing about currency in the UMN though, it's that they're completely digital. Wallets are basically a small device that can transfer money to other digital wallets. They're also connected to banks and insurance companies 24/7, you can't disconnect the connection- and attempting to do so will trigger a warrant for your arrest.

Another thing about UMN wallets, they run on the converted electric waves emitted by living things. That's why they're incapable of much use outside of transferring money, and also why they never run out of power.

**xxx**

**Remember! The INDEX updates sporadically, so check frequently.**

**The next chapter is where things _really _start.**


	2. VIT C: Something about a grass starter

**Sorry for the super long hiatus people! There've been an influx of games I've very much been looking forward to lately, and couldn't help myself from indulging a bit :x**

**Afterwards, I find out that my grades have been falling- no, not really. Actually, my grades are about average.**

**But being _average _doesn't fly for my parents, no siree!**

**Aaaanyway, I found a small leeway in my super busy schedule to make time for moemon. So... Enjoy the reboot!**

**xxx**

Anxiety is a feeling I'm far too well-acquainted with. If I had a penny for every time I've had an anxious breakdown, why I'd have more bucks than the great Gordon Baxter himself! Oh _boy_, do I know anxiety!

...And that is why I can say with absolute certainty that I am now currently experiencing _acute _anxiety.

That is why I can partly understand why I am here, sitting in front of my front door while hugging my legs, staring at said door with enough intensity I'm surprised it hasn't burst into flames yet.

I know doing so isn't helping. Just being here isn't going to make the package arrive any faster. There is no evidence that my leaving this spot would cause the package to not appear. It's just paranoia, a side-effect of the anxiety. It's causing me to think of the worst possible outcome despite there not being any evidence to support the possibility of said outcome.

And yet...

I just can't help myself.

This is such a bad habit, I really shouldn't let my impulses control me. I'm pretty goddamn sure that this bad habit of mine will somehow bite my ass in the future.

...

I check the time on my phone again- one last time I swear.

...10.40 AM

Seventeen hours since the order was finalized, five hours since I woke up, three hours since I had breakfast, and two hours since I've been sitting here.

Twinleaf to Jubilife is roughly 170 Km by straight flight, precisely 203 Km by highway! Taking into account traffic, administration, travel speed, and possible road breaks, it ought to take roughly 3 hours at minimum, and 12 hours maximum, so why aren't they here yet?!

Tch. If you're telling me administration actually takes this goddamn long, I oughta-!

**DING DONG**

-Nevermind!

**xxx**

I receive my package from the guy at long last. But in regards to his absolutely _pitiful _service, I give him no tip.

None. What. So. Ever.

Rue the day you gave me poor service, rue it I say!

...Anyway. The package I receive from him was a simple cardboard box about the size of a toaster. ...A bit large for toaster standards, but it's plausible. I think.

I put the package down on my bed and rip the thing open. I could've used a box cutter and save my frail palms the strain, but I didn't have the patience to look for one.

I stick my arm into the depth's of the styrofoam beans to locate a small white box.

I take that box out and repeat the action of ripping the thing open with my bare hands.

Inside the box was a laminated card, and high-tech looking rectangular device.

My trainer card, my moedex, and...

...Hold it. Where's the moeball?

I- what- how-? Where's my fucking starter?!

Where is it?! Don't fuck with me goddammit! Where the fuck is is-

-Oh here it is. Hahah...

...Turns out it was still in the cardboard box, separated from the rest.

Whew.

Right...

...

...So.

I don't think I'll release the moeball just yet. I should... Prepare myself first. Mentally, I mean. I'm not ready to meet my first moemon just yet...

Right, so rather than starting with the moeball, let's check out the moedex first instead.

**UNWRAPPING NOISES (Like, *krrshik-ksshik* maybe?)**

I had ordered one of custom models for my moedex. The standard ones just weren't quite up to my... standards.

Yeah.

I didn't really care much for the design, I chose a clampshell model for simplicity's sake. But the engine it runs on is that of a smartphone's- no, much more advanced than a smartphone I'd gather. This is the UMN we're talking about afterall, the forefront of technology.

The moedex I got also has all the function of my old phone and more. Plus it was also capable of reading SD cards, so that means the memory from my old phone can be transferred to this one.

One of the moedex basic function is scanning a moeball's contains. So once I finished changing the memory cards, I hooked up my moedex into the ball, with a cable extending from the dex.

A pop-up appears right afterwards on the screen of the dex, i press it, and then the screen changes again. This time, a number of statistics graphs appeared that I couldn't really understand, as well as a number of other complicated sounding words that I also didn't understand.

What I _did _understand, was the part next to the line that said [Species] and [Gender]. Which were written Turtwig and Female respectively.

...Right.

From what I know about moemon, I can say with certainty that Turtwig's are considered quite valuable. They're strong, versatile, and _really fucking rare_. Especially the female ones.

Just one of these guys are pricey enough to pay for half a year's worth of my apartment rent.

Giving me this... What is that guy thinking? Is this some kind of passive aggressive mindplay on his part? Or am i just overthinking things?

...

...Either way. I guess I should just be thankful.

...

...I should probably now get this next part over with shouldn't I?

Losing my virginity.

**xxx**

What a nerve-racking situation. I know enough from personal accounts on the internet that virgin sex is _never _quite what it's cracked up to be. It usually starts, and ends terribly. Sometimes with both sides crying and wishing it never happened.

-Don't get me wrong, I _do _want to fuck a turtle-girl as much as the next guy, but I just can't help being a little nervous about it.

What should I do first? How does foreplay work? Is she sensitive? Insensitive?

What if being part turtle means I'm supposed to fuck her externally?! But if so, how does imprinting work?!

Just... _god_. This is all so _goddamn _complicated! Why does the act of procreation have to be so difficult?!

Should I give up?! Should I just wing it?! What do I do?!

...This is getting nowhere. Maybe I _should _wing it? I'll just throw the ball, feel her up a bit, and then work my way from there. I'm sure that'll work out just fine.

Hopefully.

**xxx**

I throw the moeball containing the turtwig girl onto my bed. It splits in two while releasing a bright flash. I couldn't help shielding my eyes from the light

but once the light calms down...

She was a cute girl, small, probably only a little more than half my height. She looked mostly human, a little girl of about 7 years, with spiky 3cm-short auburn hair and tan skin. But she had a turtle shell growing out of her back, light-green scales covering her hands from the elbow down, and similar scales on her feet from the knee down.

She was completely naked.

She stared at me with the most piercing pair of emerald eyes.

I found myself frozen where I stood. I looked back at her hypnotic gaze, but found myself unable to do much else.

And then...

Hell breaks loose.

At first, she tackles me. She rams her head at my stomach with enough force to make me double over. All I managed to understand was that I just had the air punched outta me, before I was hit again by something that sent me flying backwards.

Right behind me was my wardrobe, and I proceeded to slam into it hard. The handles stabbing into my back like they were little rectangular bullets.

...Not that I would know, since I've never been shot at by a gun. Let alone a gun that utilizes rectangular bullets.

Just understand that it hurt.

I gather myself fast enough to stand upright with the wardrobe's handle as leverage. But I didn't have time to recover on account of a huge-ass textbook flying at me. I manage to duck and avoid it, but a different obhect is thrown afterwards.

A ceramic ashtray hits me square in the shoulder before falling and then shattering to pieces.

...I ignore the pain in my shoulder for a moment to notice the shattered white remains on the floor.

Well... It was a pointless housewarming gift anyway. I was never a smoker.

My attacker has apparently lost anything in her general vicinity to throw at me, so she takes this chance to flee into a corner of my room.

For the moment, she was less hostile and more on the defensive. So I take this moment to dive for my bed and grab her moeball.

Unfortunately for me, she must've seen my sudden movement as hostile, because she picks up a nearby trashcan and throws it at me.

It hits me in the hip, but it was cheap plastic, so I could shrug it off.

The moeball was now only two centimetres away from my hand. I managed to nab it just in time before I saw the turtwig girl picking up something else-

-HOLY-

"PUT DOWN MY MOTHERFUCKING PS3!" I yelled loudly with extreme indignation. Enough to noticeably rattle the girl and causing her to hesitate for just a second.

Just enough for me to click the emergency button on the top of her moeball.

A high pitched noise is released for a moment before the turtwig girl suddenly breaks into spasms.

-And dropping my PS3 in the progress!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Just in time!

I manage to slide under just in time to let the the PS3 fall on my chest.

It hurt like a bitch, but at least my baby was saved!

Unfortunately, following my PS3, the girl also fell on top of me.

...She was soft. But heavy too.

**xxx**

It was an hour or so of recuperation later before we continue where we left off.

This time though, I took precautions.

The Turtwig girl had her hands handcuffed behind her back. Her feet also handcuffed together. And the two handcuffs handcuffed together by a third pair of handcuffs.

...Due to her shell being in the way of her hands, her body looked like it was bended backwards as far as it could with her stomach pushed out. It looked extremely uncomfortable.

She was struggling to get free. Writhing about on my bed with her face flushed red, her nose scrunched in frustration, and her bare little body glistening with sweat.

...I feel a little dirty watching her.

It's even worse when I think about what I have to do now. I mean, strictly speaking, I have to _rape _her to get her to imprint right? And then afterwards she'll be loyal to me for no apparent reason, _despite the things I just did to her?_

...The moral implications of a trainer are really, _really_ heavy.

I can't even get a hard-on anymore now that I've started thinking about it.

Let's think about this for a moment. For a moemon to imprint, you don't _necessarily _have to fuck her right? Just make them orgasm right?

Considering what I just did to her, maybe going all the way right now would be a bit _much_. I mean, I can just _gently and carefully _help her "reach" the desired end.

So to say... Something like a handjob? Much tamer than going all the way right? And much less painful too. Taking into account that she's probably also a virgin.

Carefully, quietly, and very _very _gently, I sit on the bed. She notices my presence immediately and continues to look at me with a face that would make even sociopaths hesitate.

Ignore the looks man... Just _ignore _it.

I start slow, by grabbing her bare shoulder.

She responds to that by twitching uncomfortably.

...I feel... ...so... dirty...

I try lightly petting her arm. Nice and easy, to try to assure her that I Come In Peace.

But assured she is not, for she proceeds to jerk her head and bite my arm.

Bite _hard._

**xxx**

One bandage and one ball-gag later do we continue where we last left off.

Now I gave her a ball-gag... The dirty feeling is just getting worse and worse,

One more time, I try holding her shoulder.

She doesn't twitch like last time, but her face showed that she was still very hostile.

Looking at the situation... I don't blame her.

Seeing as she was unable to resist no matter what (sorry), I try being a little "adventurous" if you will. I try touching her nipple.

-At this point, I just wanna say that I have always tried to keep my expectations in life realistic. That is to say, I fully expected her reaction to such a simple act to be exceedingly underwhelming when compared to anything you see in porn.

My expectations... were not entirely off the mark. She definitely reacted when I touched her nipple, it was barely noticeable, but she definitely tensed for a second there.

A lot more noticeable than I expected though, that's for sure.

I figure I was on the right track so I continue on, I try drawing little circles tracing her barely-there aureola with my index finger.

I can tell that she was trying to act defiant from how tightly she shut her eyes and clenched her teeth, but doing so only indicated to me that she was _really _feeling it. Although in the position she's in... it must be super uncomfortable.

...As much as I want to release the handcuffs, my personal well-being is kinda on the line here. So, I think it's better to keep them on, for now.

Sorry.

Regardless, I can't stop now. So I try escalating things a bit, by having my other hand do her other nipple. And when I do, she fails to hold back a -rather _immodest, _stray moan, followed by a bit of saliva oozing out of her gag.

...It was... kinda hot, honestly speaking.

At this point, her nipples were starting to get erect, meaning she's _really _feeling it. And seeing that they were erect now, I pinch both her nipples gently, which gets her to arch her back even _more- _despite her already uncomfortable position.

Watching her writhe... I couldn't help letting a few stray thoughts wander into my head.

...I've always wanted to suck a nipple. I-I'm just being honest with what I want here. I mean, the opportunity has presented itself, in a way- A-And it would be wasteful of me (kinda?) not to take it, t-the opportunity I mean.

...Eh, time to throw my inhibitions away and just go for it, I suppose. So I try kissing her right breast, around the edge, near her armpit, to start slow y'know. Then I slowly make a trail of kisses towards her erect nipple (like from what I learned in porn), I also try to do it slowly and in an _erotic _manner. These things have to have a build-up (or so I've heard).

...She tasted salty though, which is pretty much expected, of account of her sweat. But also, I couldn't help noticing how she smelled so nice.

Like really,_ really _nice...

By the time I finally reach the designated location, I lock her erect nipple between my lips and suck.

Her nipples tasted really salty, sour, but also surprisingly tangy. In short, she _should've _tasted terrible.

But for some... unfathomable reason- I couldn't quite wrap my head around it, I ended up enjoying her taste it far more than I thought I should.

It helped that her reactions spurred me on. With every flick of my tongue, or brush of my lips, or every breath I take, she would make no reservations with showing how she felt about them. A shiver here, a moan there, a rub here, a gasp there... It was very motivating.

Any lingering sense of hostility she had for me was fading away fast.

...Maybe it was even time for me to go a little further.

My free hand traverses downwards, toward the part of a girl's body some would call her "honey pot". Strange euphemism though it may be, it's surprisingly an apt label.

When I reached my hand down there, her lower lips were wet with what I hope is not urine. It was clear, a little sticky, and somewhat viscous.

What with what just happend and all, my tongue couldn't help getting a bit curious, so I pull out for a moment to taste the liquid on my finger.

Ah.

This tasted terribly _terrible_, much, _much_ worse than her nipple. It was an unusual and inexplicable combination of salty, sour, bitter tastes, and the consistency was like paste! It tasted horrible in a very _strong _manner, all the while giving off an inexplicably sweet smell! I can't even begin to describe it! It tasted so bad yet I found myself only craving for more!

I wanted- I _needed _more!

I eagerly stuck my face into her open crotch, licking, lapping, sucking everything I could get my tongue on. I kept taking in more an more and she didn't show any hint of stopping- Not that I'm complaining of course.

So I keep going, burying my face even deeper, until I could barely even breath, all the while slurping and sucking at her pussy like my life depended on it. It was like I was in some kind of trance, like I was becoming dependent of her juices. And I was loving every second of it.

It came then, out of nowhere she screamed. But not in pain, she made _that _obvious- her tone was far too sultry to indicate pain. Following the scream, was liquid. Lots of it, spraying from her pussy and splashing my face.

Now I'm no master of the sexual arts, but I think she just came.

This is... Uhh... I-I mean,

...That's it? W-We're done?

C-Crap, I mean, uhh, I-I-I-I-!

I can't exactly stop here now can I?! I thought to myself, while already in the process of unbuckling my pants. It was like my thoughts and my actions were thrown out of order into complete disarray!

A part of me was still trying to hold back and hold on to what semblance is remaining of my moral code, while a different part of me was yelling at my moral side to 'SHUT THE FUCK UP'.

To no one's surprise, I 'Succumbed To The Temptation'.

I thrust myself inside of her as hard as I could with complete disregard for her well being-

Hooooooly _shit_!

This is...!

Is this honestly what a pussy feels like in _real life_?! She's wrapped around me so tightly! A-And her every single _pulse_, every _twitch_! I can _feel _it all on my dick!

And these little... nubs? These fleshy little nubs in her pussy? Are these normal? Or is it just a Turtwig thing-

-Oh fuck if I care!

I already felt myself having hit as deep inside of her as I could- but I was only a _centimetre _away from hitting base. It was close, too close, _far too fucking close_.

I pull back slightly- _very strongly _feeling how tight she held me, sticking to my dick and refusing to let go, and then proceed to forcefully thrust myself back inside of her.

She screams out in response to how carelessly I was treating her, but I proceed to 'not give a damn' and keep going.

I slam into her again, harder this time. And then I thrust into her again, and again, _and again!_ Growing harder in force and more frequent in pace. A squelchy noise emerges each time I hilt myself inside of her. Soon, a sense of something escalating was slowly building up in my loins.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuck!"

I finally blow inside of her hard, with it releasing all the accumulated 'adrenaline' -if you will- which left me quite physically drained.

I collapse on top of her, gasping for breath. My head landed right next to her, and I heard her gasping for breath too.

It then dawns on me that I still haven't taken off her handcuffs.

**xxx**

**Aaaand that's the end of the first chapter where... Nothing happens!**

**Anyway, it's already clear at this point that I've made quite a few changes to the story. And looking at all the changes and ideas I was coming up with... I was afraid I wouldn't be able to explore every single one of my 'ideas' in enough detail without derailing the story in some way or another.**

**And that was when I came up with the Index chapter!**

**So anytime someone runs into something they don't know, or a character they can't remember (on account of my loooong updates) just refer to the index chapter! Ingenious isn't it?!**

**Anyway, don't forget to review! The reviews can even be mean if you want, as long as they're constructive!**


	3. I don't care about these people

_[...?]_

_I jump up, high as I can make myself go, but I still can't even get close._

_Like, at all._

_"Silica! Silica, give it back! Give it back to me right now!" I scream. Not that she'd care of course._

_When you take someone's diar- **NOTEBOOK**, and hold it over their head, you probably aren't likely to just hand it back to them right?_

_"I-I'm telling mom!" I complain at her, a liable threat that I am MORE than willing to pull through with._

_And yet, she has the audacity to scoff at my threat!_

_How dare she!_

_"U-Uuu...!"_

_I will not cry. MANLY MEN don't CRY,_

_[...]_

**xxx**

I look at my watch.

15.30 it says.

Hmm... Let's see here...

Sofa? Check.

Bed? Check.

40 inch wide, plasma screen HDTV? Super check.

Okay... That should be everything. The furniture retail guys should come around in about 3-4 hours I think, probably. Taking into account traffic and emergency cushion time, I should still have time to drop stuff off at the storage place first before the furniture people get here.

Sigh...

Why is there so much shit to do? Even after I finish furniture inventory, I'd still have to return my apartment keys to the landlord, shop for supplies, donate old books to the library, sell all my unused games at gamestop, drop by the pawn shop, stock up on medication, buy camping gear, and etc etc...

The worse part of all this is how much money I'm losing...

I know I still have my trainer allowance and subsidiaries to lean on, but the former will only apply at the end of the year, and the latter doesn't apply to non-trainer stores.

So yeah.

...Sigh...

...Who the hell even came up with this stupid '2 badge mandatory' shit anyway? Why the hell do I have to put my livelihood on the line for the sake of a pair of fucking accessories?!

...

Gaaah...

...As much as I want to continue my rage against the heavens, doing so doesn't really help solve any of my problems. Really, I suppose I should just put aside all my _totally justified_ complaints and just focus on my tasks for now.

That in mind, i pull up my primary source of transportation.

My wonderful...

My beautiful...

My technologically advanced...

And all around badass...

HOVERBOARD! (*Insert Link's chest opening jingle*)

MX-series, fully customized, fold up capable, synthetic alloy reinforced, AND outfitted with a dual output antimatter chamber system.

This little girl is my baby, my lovely, my pride and joy, my **Eschaton**.

...

...Yes. I named my hoverboard, shut up, don't judge me.

ANYWAY! I turn on and mount her (lol). Considering the fact that I've had her for the past three or so years, it would be ridiculous to think that I couldn't ride her with all the finesse of an absolute pro.

As such I manage to steer her through the roads of busy Jubilife with all the grace of a-

**CRASH**

-drunk psyduck.

...Shit that hurts like hell!

"Oh my god I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking and I was just- are you okay?" says a very male voice from... somewhere near my vicinity.

Can't quite pinpoint where. Currently in too much pain.

But while I was busy trying to recover by- by _not _writhing on the ground like a bumbling idiot (duh), the source of the voice (I assume) goes over and helps me to my feet.

When I was upright once more, I dust myself free of gravel and make my thanks + apology,

"U-Uhh, s-sorry about having-"

My voice caught the very second- nay, the very _millisecond _I manage to put my eye on him.

Hoe. Lee. Sheet.

This guy... He looks like he just jumped out of a really cheesy teen drama.

If life was a cheesy play, I could very well imagine this guy forcing his way into the life of a sheltered princess and teaching her about the true meaning of love.

That is to say,

I'd like to say that he looks like the dreamboat of every hormone addled preteen, delusional forty-something hipster wannabe, or overworked-and-lonely city girl in the entire world.

-But to actually describe him in comprehensible words,

His was a youthfully clean face that was shaped in the most perfect of polygons (diamonds). His hair was of the strawberry blonde shade that looked messy, but fell in such a perfect way as to compliment his features. His skin was fair enough to show that he spent a lot of time outdoors, but not enough to make him look like a tomato,

...And I can't even begin to describe how well-toned he is. You could tell each individual split in his abdomen, pulsing with muscles, and just begging to rip out of his shirt. ...Not that I want them to or anything.

I would like to say, as a citizen of the UMN, I am completely open to the idea of same sex relationships. But it just so happens that my preferences lean a little more towards the less testosterone-ly challenged.

But this guy was so unbelievably attractive visually, that I felt all hot and bothered just by looking at him.

"U-Uhh... I-I'm fine." I try to say as calmly as possible. Which is to say, near unintelligible to anyone who isn't me.

"Are you okay?" he asks, bending himself so as to level his face to mine- which I avoid! By quickly noticing a _great deal of interest _at the sewer grate to my left. ...Did I mention how blue his eyes were?

I'm not really one to be rude, but this guy is just so unbelievably _arousing _that I don't think I can even _look _at him without making myself look like a total jackass.

"I-I-I'm totally fine. F-F-F-Fantastic even!" I tell him.

If only I could've said that without stuttering though...

Well regardless of how visually alluring this unknown stranger is, I really do think I should hurry on. As such, I quickly go to pick up Eschaton right after I dust myself off before I proceed to make my _daring _escape.

"U-Umm, I-I really h-have to go now... D-Don't mind li'l old me," I tell him, without even making eye contact.

Too bad for me, I feel something tugging at my arm and preventing my retreat.

"Wait!"

W-Whoa, what the hell is up with this perfect balance of rough versus softness?! And the width too! Just the thought of having his strong arms around my-

-No! Bad thoughts begone! Stop drifting off about weird shit!

"Before you go, do you mind if I ask you first for directions?"

...

"...Sure."

**xxx**

"Well anyway, 'thank you sir for trusting our company with your wares and blah blah blah' plus you're money will be transferred to your account as soon as someone writes a check."

"Ah right, t-thank you."

"Well, hope to see you again. Bye."

"Mmm, b-bye, t-thanks."

And with that, the furniture retail guys drive away with their rickety old van. Of course, none of my things are in there, everything nowadays are transferred via hammerspace afterall. Though, the complete transfer from physical to pseudo-physical is still fairly recent though, so the use of old equipment is still understandable.

All that aside, what's next on my unreasonably long to-do list?

Placed re-usable furniture in storage? check.

Accompanied the lost teenage dream to the auto shop? check, and added to the list.

Sell a buncha shit? Super check.

Next up is to stock up on travelling supplies, and camping equipment. Afterwards I plan to rent a room in the Muscle Emporium's Jubilife branch and train turtwig-girl.

In the case of travelling supplies and camping equipment, I can probably buy both at the department store. While I'm there, I could also buy some clothes for turtwig-girl.

Speaking of turtwig-girl, I really ought to give her a name one of these days. I haven't registered her for one yet afterall, and simply calling her turtwig-girl isn't really going to do wonders for our relationships.

Meh, I'll think about it later.

**xxx**

Aaaaand,

That takes care of food, medical supplies, stuff... plus outdoor equipment are also all done, though I hope I chose the right ones...

...Anyway, I guess I should be shopping for clothes now right?

So I get around into doing that. But once I actually reach the clothing's section, I realized a problem.

I have no idea what the sizes of turtwig-girl are. Hell, I don't even know what age group I should say she is!

Tch, I guess I could make some rough guesses based on physical appearance? Then by my memory of how she looked yesterday... I'd say she has the body of a girl around 7-10 years of age.

...And with that revelation do I realized all the horrible things I'd just done to a 7-10 year old. Ugh, it's best if I don't think about it.

Anyway! Back to choosing clothes! Focus Therian, _focus_!

I sincerely remember turtwig-girl having a shell on her back that was pretty bulky, so that means I shouldn't buy clothes that cover her back right?

I also remember that her shell only covered from around the base of her neck to her lower back. That means her shell wouldn't be in the way should I buy some pants for her.

...Though before I buy her pants, I'm supposed to buy her undergarments first aren't I?

Fuck. I never knew clothes shopping could ever feel so... dirty. Even if the UMN doesn't have laws against pedophilia, they're still frowned upon- for obvious reasons. ... Nonetheless I still find myself having to walk towards the 'women lingerie' area.

When I get there,

Shit. I don't even know what _half _of these things are for. What the hell is _that_ and _how _is it supposed to cling on your body?

"Aaaargh... This is all so frustrating...!" I mutter under my breath.

And just when I did that, I hear a light chuckle come from right behind me. Not only did the sudden sound of chuckling take me by surprise and making me jump a little, the embarrassment also dyed my face a couple shades of red.

With all the smoothness of an un-oiled, 70s generation animatronics robot, I turn my head to face this person who utterly _shamed _me.

The person behind me was a girl. A _little _girl. She looked like she might have been a grade schooler or something, but that notion was easily thrown out the realm of possibility when you take a gander at her chest. Namely, her bust. Which were bigger than anything I've _ever _seen, all the while seeming light enough to defy gravity.

"...U-Uhmm?" Was all I managed to muster the courage to say. But she seemed to have understood that regardless.

"Right, sorry 'bout that. Real sorry guy, didn' mean to laugh at you or nothin'" She says in something of a slur. Like she was drunk or something. I guess that's a clear sign that she's _not _a grade schooler. Must be one of those 'legal jailbait' girls.

...Wait a minute, 'a drunk?' At this hour?

"Sorry, I just couldn' help myself guy. You just looked so lost lookin' at girly undies. It was actually kinda precious."

I couldn't help but shrink a bit under her... assessment of myself. It was amazing how she made me sound like both a deviant _and _a pussy.

"You're a new trainer aren'tcha?" She asks, then coming closer to me and surprising me by her _lacking _the smell of alcohol.

She was a sober drunk(?). Is that even a thing?

But regardless of her odd disposition, I nod at her question.

"Lookin' atcha kinda made me feel all bad inside, so how's about I help you out a bits? You're prolly shoppin' for a girl moemon right?"

Again I nod.

"And I'm also guessin' you're prolly worried 'bout her sizes or somethin' right?"

Once again, I nod.

"Hmmhmmhmhmhmm! Well don't you worry li'l guy, just let Dr. Ignition lend you a helpin' hand." She says reassuringly, if not a bit mischievously.

'Dr. Ignition'? ...Li'l guy?

I don't wanna hear that from soneone who looks 12 freaking years old!

"So can I see what she looks like?" Asks 'Dr. Ignition', while shuffling through some of the lingerie in front of her.

I comply quickly and show her a picture after connecting turtwig-girl's moeball to my moedex.

"Hmm? A turtwig eh? That's a pretty nice catch." She comments.

"T-Thanks. S-She was a gift actually."

"Cool."

Afterwards, she takes my moedex from me to take a closer look at the picture. She continues to browse through the many frilly undergarments while using the picture as a base for comparison.

When she finally found a pair she liked, she takes them, and tucks them under her arm. Afterwards, she drags me around in search of a bunch of other clothes for turtwig-girl to wear.

Until finally,

"Heeere you go guy." She says, handing me a bag (courtesy of one of the staff) full of all sorts of things stretching from panties to one-piece dressses.

"U-Uhh t-thanks. T-Thank you very much." I tell her.

"No probs. But..." She trails off, into a smile that was equal parts impish as it was a little flirtatious. Namely, it was a smile someone made before they ask for a favor.

"Seein' as I helped you out... Could I ask you for a favor?"

**xxx**

Argh! W-What the fuck! I can still _feel _it, it **BURNS!**

That... That _bitch_!

I can't believe she just fucking _tazed _me and then ran away!

I don't care if it was 'for science' or any other shit! Why didn't she just taze herself if it was so important?!

...Ugh.

Fuck...

Now that put me in a really bad mood... Suddenly, I'm really not in the mood to go to the Muscle Emporium anymore. I mean, I can barely even walk straight!

...But still.

I can't afford _not _going. Whether I want to or not, I _still _need to train turtwig-girl if I ever expect to get into Veilstone U. How do I expect to beat _any _of the gym leaders with a completely untrained turtwig?

...

...I guess that settles it then. Apparently...?

...

AAAARGH! Let's just get this fucking over with!

**xxx**

"These three TMs, supplements, training equipment, and one room please ma'am!" I yell irately at the cash register girl. "-don't even bother with a calculator, I already counted the total beforehand and sent the transfer request! Just authorize the fucking purchase already and let me move on with my life!"

At any other time, I'd never be able to act this mean- even if I wanted to! I just can't help it this time, the whole trip from the department store to here, I kept experiencing phantom pains running from my toes all the way up my spine every time I took a step.

Obviously, the pain didn't exactly put me in the _best _of moods.

"R-Right away sir..." She responds sheepishly before handling all the technical stuff.

A few typing on her computer later and she tells me that room 308 is free in the east wing.

**xxx**

"What."

-Was all I could say the second I entered room 308 on the east wing.

Why? Well there was nothing wrong with the room of course.

It was just the usual big ass rectangular room with wood floors, a large screen opposite to the entrance, some high-tech equipment to the side, and a high-tech panel right under the screen.

What _was _wrong was the fact that there was a person in there. Correction, there _were _multiple _persons _in the room, with there being one human,

Surrounded by four other very large, very underdressed, very _male_ moemon. I didn't really wanna keep my eyes on any one of them for too long, but that short glance was enough for me to recognize what kind of moemon they were. A rapidash, a tauros, a raichu and a croagunk- _toxicroak_ (my knowledge on moemon's a little rusty).

The single human amidst all of them was a girl. And she was butt naked- ignoring her gloves, the _only _article of clothing she wore.

Luckily for sheepish little old me, they were all asleep.

...Doesn't make any of them any less naked though.

And all that white stuff on the floor? I'm sure it's just vanilla yogurt. Right?

Right? (lol)

But enough kidding myself. I think... I should probably call security?

And then say what? 'There's a naked girl in my room covered in semen? could you please take her away?' if I actually _do _say that, not only will I look like a complete jackass, I don't think it would be very fair for the girl.

I'm _sure _that once she wakes up, she will have a _very reasonable _explanation for all of... _this_.

It will be concise, it will be acceptable, and it will be _rational_. I hope.

...

But now that I think about it, I only rented this room for three hours. Sure I could extend the hours, but that's gonna cost me.

Seeing as I'm on a tight budget, that means I should try to wake her up right?

So with that in mind, I try approaching her. With _very _conservative steps mind you. But upon closer inspection though,

I notice the girl was very lean, with tight muscles and a tall, fit build. She also had shoulder length black hair with a purple streak.

But the girl's appearance didn't matter. What mattered was how to wake her up. And if possible, to do so without waking up her companions...

I could just like, poke her or something maybe?

Yeah, let's do that.

**poke**

"U-Umm, excuse me?"

**poke**

"S-Sorry but..."

**poke**

"Umm, m-miss...? W-Wake up please?"

**poke**

"...Please?"

I then got a desirable reaction as she stirs a little in her sleep.

Okay, that's good. We're getting somewhere.

**poke**

"R-Rise and sh-shine... The uhh... The _thing _is here?"

**poke**

"P-Please wake up m-miss... I-I'm sure you're... l-late? for s-something? p-p-probably?"

No dice. She's not moving at all, should I try something else? Maybe poke her... elsewhere?

Eww no. That would _probably _be breaking some kind of law.

Okay... Let's try this again.

**poke**

"S-Sorry again, b-b-but I really need you to-"

"**THE KITCHEN IS ON FIIIIIRE!**"

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!

I scramble away for dear _fucking _life as the girl just jumped out of freaking _nowhere_ and suddenly scream and _did she just say the kitchen is on fire_?

-Don't get distracted!

Whether or not this 'kitchen' she speaks of is in a flame-y condition is completely inconsequential, what _does _matter is that _her sudden screaming woke up the rest of the party_!

I couldn't even quite process what happened in the next two seconds before a boy who's arms, back and lower body was covered in orange fur suddenly pins me to the ground and _holy shit he's got his morning wood all up in my face_.

But even the sight of bare rodent genitalia does _not _distract me from the yellow sparks emanating all around the Raichu's fur.

Is this how I die? Strapped by and zapped to death by a rodent with morning wood?

...Because that would look awful on my gravestone.

_-THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES DAMMIT_!

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! Please don't kill me- if it helps convince you, I've always thought raichu were the _best _electric type!"

Don't lie through your teeth! He can probably smell your fear _and _lies!

"Who the hell are you?!" asks a distinctively female, yet husky voice at me, no doubt the girl who's 'kitchen was on fire'.

As panicked as I am already about this situation, it didn't help now that I've been poised with a question I couldn't possibly answer. I mean, what was I supposed to say?

A customer? My name?

"A-An innocent bystander?" I answer, though the uncertainty in my voice made it sound more like _I _was the one asking _her _a question.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" she asks again, sounding quite outraged.

Really, _I _should be the one sounding outraged. Bitch, _you _are _not _the one _pinned to the floor _by a _very _stimulated rodent.

It. Is. Touching. **Me.**

Like, the me, _down below_.

With... _his _down below.

Totally uncomfortable. ...If that wasn't obvious enough already!

"I'm just a c-customer! I'm just a rookie trainer who's feeling _a tad bit _uncomfortable with all this questioning!" I answer in exasperation. Maybe a little _too _exasperated; it mostly sounded like babling.

"...Ah." She says _oh-so-simply_, as if it all just clicked into place. The _completely _logical, _only _reason I would and _could _be _in this room at all_.

She sighs. What? Don't you sigh at me! Do something already! Call off your motherfucking-

"Roy, down."

-Thank you!

...

Oh wait, I was supposed to say that out loud.

"T-Thanks."

Smooth.

"Look, uhh... Really sorry about siccing my Roy at you..." she says, modestly hiding behind her rapidash and putting her clothes back on.

I was -_am_ a gentleman. So I averted my eyes until she was done getting decent.

It was when a hand took my own that I figured she was done. I let her yank me back to my feet, then fix my glasses.

"T-Thanks again." I say, a little too quietly.

"...Right." she replies.

Now that she was standing, I couldn't help but notice something about this girl; she was tall- like, _crazy _tall. I'm talking 'bout scratching round 175-180cm or something- which, now that I realize, really isn't all _that _tall.

Loads more than me though. To the point that I had to look up if I wanted to look her in the eye.

Not that I ever look anyone in the eye.

She was quite pretty though. An oriental look accentuated by her long dark hair and sunken eyes. She wore a heavy beige coat with a white tanktop underneath, and jeans.

The 'swoosh' kinda sound coming from all around me tells that tall girl is probably recalling her team. Except for the toxicroak, a tall-ish looking teenage male with lean dancer muscles, dark hair like wire, slit yellow eyes, light purple skin, red markings around his side, a bloated growth on his neck like a giant red adam's apple, spikes coming out of the back of his palms, inverted knees, and membranes between his toes and fingers.

Like most toxicroak, they're lip muscles were naturally curled upwards, which makes them look like perpetual smilers. But since they're not actually _always _smiling, the emotion never reaches their eyes, giving them a kinda _psychopathic _look.

"My name's Lexie by the way, yours?"

Her question brought me out of my stupor, grounding me from daydreaming about toxicroaks.

"W-What?"

"Your name. It's common courtesy that you give your own name before asking for someone else's."

"I-It's Therian. T-Therian Omnicore Murderfield." I answer her,

"Bullshit."

Okay what? I get that my name's a little... _y'know_, but you don't have to be rude about it.

"I-I'm sorry?"

"Quit bullshitting me, I'm not into jokes like that." she says, huffing.

Is she accusing me of giving her a fake name? And who actually _huffs _when they talk?

"I-It's my real name!"

"Prove it."

Please give me a moment while I fumble for my trainer card somewhere in one of my pants' pockets.

(a moment later...)

"Whoa, no shit?"

"...Yeah..."

"Can't believe there's an actual family name called _Murderfield_. How do you reserve restaurants with that name without the workers giving you the evil eye?"

You don't.

"One table for the Murderfields! Are there any Murderfields here?" she cracks, giggling at the end, "sorry, couldn't resist."

"...It's fine." I say, tired. Suddenly exhausted for some reason.

Subjects about my name kinda gets to me. Like, I've already gotten enough flak about it at school. As such, I walk over to the panel at the end of the room; mostly because I just want to distance myself than anything.

I tap a few buttons and the flatscreen on the wall whirs to life. Images also appear on the panel below about stuff like battle videos, background music(what?), or general nutritional and anatomical information about various moemon. I open one for turtwig's and find a small button at the bottom of the panel's touch screen about 'starting out'.

A whistle from directly behind me interrupts me from my machinations and surprised me enough to make me jump a little.

"You a rookie? And you got a turtwig for a starter? Shit bro, those guys are _really _rare."

"Uh, yeah. She was a gift from my s- from an acquaintance." I lie. More of a white lie actually, it _was_ true, in a way.

"Don't bother with the machine, let a _pro _give you a few lessons, someone who knows what they're doing _way _more than some stupid computer."

I held back from shooting her a distasteful look. That was a really smug comment, and I had trouble believing she knew more than the combined knowledge of _several decade's worth of experience._

_"_T-Thanks again," I guess...

"No probs, it's the least I could do."

Well whatever, I should just accept her help. A rookie like me would (and should) take tips from pretty much anyone.

**xxx**

**So... this is the second chapter. And... nothing happens?**

**Yeah. Sorry about that.**

**This chapter is purely for foreshadowing.**

**I promise to try and update faster (;_;)**


	4. Just a bunch of losers

I release turtwig-girl from her moeball. She materializes in a space between me and Lexie in a sitting position, very casually might I add, with her hands propped behind her, staring blankly at her surroundings. Of course, I notice a problem the very second I release her.

She was nude.

Clearly, that needed to be remedied.

_Not_ frantically, I press a number of buttons on my gauntlet-shaped hammerspace device. Soon after, a dress and a set of lingerie materializes right in front of me in a faint blue light.

Now... To put it on.

I approach turtwig-girl slowly, she spares a passing glance at me, but neglects to do anything else.

Conveniently, Lexie does nothing but watch the oncoming series of events with mild amusement.

_Thanks for the support_. Really, I'm not being sarcastic at all.

Anyway, on to the task at hand. I kneel down to turtwig-girl's level and proceed to put on her... bra? Can I call this a bra?

It looks more like an oversized sticker made of cotton, shaped like an infinity symbol with the holes filled. No straps, no hooks, nothing. Of course, I get how straps wouldn't work with turtwig-girl's shell, but I haven't the slightest clue how to put this on.

"Uhh..."

I attempted to just, _stick _it onto her chest, but she backed away before I had the chance. No doubt she was a little wary about what I was trying to pull; I'd be too, if I were in her shoes.

A man I'd barely known shoving foreign pieces of lingerie at me. Beyond creepy.

...Though, I doubt moemon psychology worked like that. Does what _she _thinks is creepy coincide with what _I _think is creepy? It's beyond mere cultural barriers afterall, _species _barriers are more like it.

...Regardless, this approach isn't working.

I pan my head a little to the side, to look past turtwig-girl, at Lexie who's standing behind her.

"U-Uhh..." I said, where in truth, I was actually trying to ask her for help.

"No no no! Don't look at me! This is a... _bonding _experience for you two, I don't want- _can't_ get in the way of that," she says, raising both arms to signal that this was out of her hands.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

"L-Look... t-turtwig-girl, I think it'd be faster if you cooperate. P-Please..."

Waste of breath, I realize only after the fact; she couldn't understand me.

Again, I try to simply _shove _the sticker/bra at her, but she only manages to withdraw.

_Fine_. I'll try something else.

This time, I raise both hands, to suggest pacifism at her, and try inching towards her, _very slowly_.

In response, she _very slowly _backs away some more, in tune with how slow I was moving.

Goddammit.

Should've figured, gestures are lost on her too.

I look at the _supposed _bystander behind turtwig-girl once again, hoping for guidance.

She shrugs. A non-committal answer.

"...Aren't you supposed to be giving me advice?" I plead.

Another shrug. _Bitch_.

I'll rephrase my request then,

"What did you do when you first got your starter? How to clothe him, how to train him?"

"Neil here?" she gestures at her toxicroak, 'Neil' apparently, "I had him since I was ten. He was already trained manually, enough to behave, but he didn't officially become mine till I imprinted on him three years later."

Great.

"Well then... How'd you train your other _captured _moemon?" I ask, in a tone that suggested I was a little irritated. Or a lot.

"I had Neil beat them into submission, imprint on them and then..." she trails off.

"Then... what, exactly?"

"Huh. I never realized this till now, but they were all pretty obedient from the get-go. Even though Carter may have been a little lazy, and Roy was a little energetic, I don't think any of them ever went against me in any way..." she makes a face at me, somewhere between puzzled and... disappointed? maybe, I'm not really good with reading people's expressions.

"Flinching at me when I tried to clothe them... I don't think I've ever run into anything like that..."

Shit. _Shit_. _**SHIT**_**.**

It only struck me now, but I never asked; I just _assumed _based on the fact that her entire team were all fully evolved.

"H-How many badges do you have...?"

"U-Uhh..."

Shit!

"Don't avoid the question! Answer me straight! _How many badges do you have?!_"

"...oo" she mutters under her breath.

I didn't really hear her too clearly, but I could guess, based on how she mouthed it,

"Two? _Two_?!"

Are you fucking with me?! _Two badges?!_

"You called yourself fucking pro with _two _freaking badges?! If I'd known you were also a noob- fucking hell, how long have you been training?!"

"Eh..."

"Give me a straight answer!" I demanded.

"F-Four, or... maybe it was five? give or take?"

"_Days_?"

"...Months."

Then, it clicked, the question that had completely slipped my mind,

What was she doing here in the first place?

"...You're broke. You've been living off of being a trainer, but then you went broke. Nowhere to go, that's why you're here. You're crashing here, in one of Muscle Emporium's cheapass rooms."

She winces at that,

"You're one of those idiots, people who try to make a living out of being a trainer, only to find themselves overwhelmed by just how hard it is to make it past the second badge. Without the subsidiaries, without the allowances... Badge three and beyond, where the gyms start getting _serious_."

No response? Fuck you. I take a step towards her,

Then stop.

I was taken aback, at the end of my speech, I suddenly felt a crushing pain spread around my abdominal area. Hard enough to make me double over and sink to my knees.

"Neil!"

Her toxicroak?

That's it, I completely missed him, moved too fast. He had apparently punched me in the gut. Here he is, right in front of me- can't believe I didn't notice.

...Guess I got carried away?

Could barely process what happened next, but something tackled the angry toxicroak from the side and pushes him away from me.

"Neil!"

Ah.

That's right... turtwig-girl (god I should've name her by now) that must've been her. Regardless of how rebellious she is, she _must _protect me. We've imprinted afterall.

"Oh my god Therian... S-Sorry, I d-didn't- he must've-"

"-M-My own fault, shouldn't have antagonized you."

With her help, I slowly get back to my feet. Stomach hurt like a bitch- enough that I coughed a bit of bile out, but I'm just thankful he hadn't used his stingers.

"Stop, Neil! Retreat! Withdraw!"

Somewhere in my periphery vision, I see a purple blur ground to a halt. Turtwig-girl tries to take this chance to bullrush him, but he casually trips her down.

By grabbing her foot with his tongue.

She falls face first and makes something that sounds like a cross between a growl and a groan- in the high, squeaky voice of a prepubescent girl. Whereas Neil withdraws his tongue and makes for me and Lexie.

"Slow! Stay! Look, we're being civil!" Lexie mentions, right when Neil's fist was about to slam into my pasty face.

Neil glances at his trainer, sees her urge him to cease hostilities, and withdraws his hand from being a centimeter away from my face.

I sigh relief.

"S-So... that happened."

Lexie nods awkwardly.

Apparently we were both at a loss about where to go from here.

Shake on it? Move on? Pretend it never happened?

Shame the awkward silence/pseudo-truce was only on us three, as turtwig-girl failed to pick up the memo. She seemed to think she was still engaged in battle; she was running towards us, full speed, arms poised for some kind of... attack(?)

Her target was Neil. But Neil was a step ahead- literally. He took a step forward and turtwig-girl missed him completely.

No, that's not accurate. Tutrwig-girl didn't miss _completely_, she hit _someone _that's for sure.

Me.

She must've realized too late that he had dodged, failed to break her momentum, causing herself to crash into me hard enough to send me flying off my feet. Rolling two whole rotations backwards, before finally crashing into the wall with a very loud 'crack'.

...More likely to have come from me than her.

Screw being half my size, a fraction my age. She was still a moemon, which meant she packed a hard punch regardless.

We had fallen into a position where I sat down, my back on the wall, and she was on my lap, looking up at me.

My face was most likely contorted in pain.

And her... she looked absolutely horrified, as if she'd just unknowingly committed mass murder or something.

And suddenly... she hugs me. For no reason I could identify.

It hurt, for many reasons- most likely because I'd cracked a rib or two, possibly three, and her squeezing wasn't helping.

But the pain wasn't overwhelming, which surprised me more than anything. Totally beyond my expectations. More than the pain, it simply felt... nice.

Not pleasurable, or any kind of good feeling that I could describe. Just... nice. Warm, the closest thing I can describe it as.

When was the last time I had a hug anyway?

**xxx**

"And... done. Is that it?"

"I-I'll have to check it at a hospital later... but I think it's fine, hopefully."

With that the bandage was settled. Wrapped around my chest, where I hope was correctly where my broken rib was situated.

It came to no surprise to me when I found that Lexie had no first aid knowledge. I wasn't much better sure, but still better, by a _little _bit, by having skimmed a first aid guidebook some time ago.

I guided her through the process, and I think she did an okay job. Enough to fix a broken rib I think. It probably isn't even really fractured, just cracked.

"Sorry Neil sicced you... Roy too."

Roy is... her Raichu?

"I-It's fine, n-no harm done. Nothing permanent anyway..."

Me and Lexie both shot a look to our respective lefts. Neither of us had withdrawn our starters and were finding them glaring daggers at each other, but at least they'd both also proved docile. So far.

"So much for my pro-tip lessons huh..."

I shrug her off,

"...N-Nonetheless... you're still more experienced than me so..." I trail off, a feeling in my gut told me my next sentence would prove fruitless, "Any tips? Anything at all?"

"Name your moemon."

See?

"Golden. Anything else?"

She pauses thoughtfully, at the same time helping me up to my feet.

"...Make sure you have a muscle relaxant before imprinting with a rapidash. ...Maybe even make an appointment with Heavenly first for some... 'flexibility upgrades'."

"...Noted."

"Oh! Don't ever try catching something you lack badge clearance to own. Your moeball will automatically run a background check on you and lock down the ball until you reach the required badge clearance level."

Helpful, but not something I hadn't already known.

She looked so proud of herself though, I couldn't bring myself to wipe that grin off her face.

I check the clock stated behind me, nearly an hour's passed. I'll have to order an increase in my time if I wanted to keep using the room.

Fuck, I haven't even gotten any real training done here.

I glance at turtwig-girl standing to my side. Still locked in a staring contest with Neil, but at least now she was wearing clothes. We'd somehow managed it while she was still docile and clinging to me earlier. Lexie's help was frowned upon, but accepted, certainly made the difference.

Apparently, all you had to do to put on the bra really was to just stick it on. The thing used some kinda suction system or some other, don't really care, as long as it worked.

Over the bra she wore a pure white 'dress' that deserved more to be called an apron. The top part looped around her neck and the bottom part covered up until just above her butt with a zipper in the back. The 'apron' left her shell completely untouched.

Taking my eyes from her, I check the time again. Then I look at Lexie.

"Where are you going from here?"

"I... I have no idea. I plan on catching a train to Eterna tonight, but until then..." she pulls out her digital wallet, pushes a few buttons, then frowns.

The look was obvious enough, even to me.

I sigh.

I walk to the control panel and extend my rent for another two hours. She says tonight, I'll venture a guess and say seven to eight o'clock. She has time till around six something, after that she's on her own.

"Stay here. Train, rest, do something productive. I gave you two hours, make _good _use of it."

Her face practically shined at my statement.

"Seriously- Dude- Therian I dunno how I-"

"-Save it," I cut her off, "just... suck less."

She smiles with one side of her face. Amused? Offended? Both?

"Asshole."

I ignore her, walk straight past her towards the door.

This visit was utterly unproductive, I thought to myself.

A side glance showed turtwig-girl half jogging to catch up to me, slowing when she was right next to me. Easing just a little bit closer to me with each step.

My hand drifts to her moeball, in the inside pocket of my jacket. I felt for it, found it,

Nah.

Let her walk.

We pass the door and turtwig-girl was close enough for her forearm to rub against the back of my hand. For no apparent reason, she suddenly takes my hand.

Small.

Her hand was surprisingly small, despite how much punch they packed. Her whole hand together; they could only wrap around three of my fingers.

Her skin was foreign to me. Warm, but that was the only human-like aspect. Her fingers were too hard, I could feel the small 'cracks' made by the distance between each individual scale that covered her arm. Gave her this kind of, 'rocky' texture.

...Huh.

"...Rocky," I say absentmindedly.

In the near empty lobby, she was the only one who turned her head. To look at me.

"...That settles it then."

**xxx**

**Did my best; could've been better I'm sure, but it is what it is.**

**I really notice just now how poor I am at structuring my paragraphs. Either too long or too short, too blunt or too prose-y. Can never seem to hit that perfect middle point... ;n;**

**Anyway... I lost some sleep writing this chapter... *yawn* so tired now... zzz...**

**...Fucking... typos... gramatically incorrect... zz...zzzz.**


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